1. Noble gases are the most carefree gases. They just don’t care to react to what others do!
2. Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it’s pretty basic stuff.
3. Oxygen wanted to be knighted but he wasn’t noble.
4. Tell me a potassium joke. K
5. What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6×10^23 pieces?
6. The lab smells like rotten eggs you say? Sorry to hear about your sulfuring.
7. Yo’ mamma so ugly not even fluorine would bond with her.
8. Last night, a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82. I am easily lead.
9. What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together? CSI
10. What was avogadros’s favorite sport? Golf – because he always got a mole-in-one.
11. Two blood cells met and fell in love. Alas, it was all in vein.
12. What do you call a nonsensical felon? A silicon.
13. When life gives you mold make pencillin.
14. Why is the PH of YouTube very stable? Because it constantly buffers.
15. Why did the germ cross the microscope? To get to the other slide.
1. Why did the father alcohol name his two sons, ethanol and methanol? So that they both can always remain as chemical brothers!
2. Once, an organometallic compound went to a bar, and after a few drinks he got epoxicated.
3. Believe it or not, alcohols are homogeneous solutions, but it would be better if you don’t mix them up!
4. A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much for a drink. For you, no charge.
5. Chemists and alcoholics have one thing in common, and that is they both view alcohol as part of the solution.
1. Florence Flask was getting ready for the opera. All of a sudden, she screamed: “Erlenmeyer, my joules! Somebody has stolen my joules!” The husband replied, “Calm down, honey. We’ll find a solution.”
2. The little atom was a naughty boy who kept shouting at his little brother. So the father atom scolded him by saying “You should never shout atom of your voice like that.”
3. My wife is a scientist whose hobby is to take photographs. She clicks wonderful photons!
4. Why did the father alcohol name his two sons, ethanol and methanol? So that they both can always remain as chemical brothers!
5. When I asked my mother why my father was coming home late from work recently, she replied that he was under a lot of pressure lately at the mines.
6. My son is extremely naughty and always up to some sort of mischief. Angrily I told gim, “I’m keeping my ion you.”
7. The chemist was angry at his son and said, “Never put your neon the dining table.”
8. The best thing about chemistry is, it is like a family. Everyone is well bonded with one another!
1. Why do chemists call Helium, Barium and Curium the medical elements? Because if you can’t Helium or Curium, you Barium!
2. What does a chemist call the condition of having dry eyes? Ophthalmic anhydride.
3. How often does a chemist need coffee? They need caffeine periodically.
4. Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They are cheaper than day rates.
5. The Japanese chemist’s favorite element when he was a kid was Manga-nese.
6. The chemist did not want to publish his cringy chemistry joke on Facebook as he thought he would get a volatile reaction.
7. Chemists favor nitrates because they are way more affordable than the day rates.
8. A plant owned by a chemist grows into being a chemist’s tree.
9. The chemist was very sad. Although he was good at cooking compounds, unfortunately, he could never taste what he cooked!
10. The only rodent which a chemist absolutely adores is moles!
11. When the vacation plan got canceled, the sad chemist said, “without anion everything are bond to go wrong.”
12. For a chemist, the most important element is the element of surprise!
13. Chemists have a provocative nature. They hate neutral people and catalyze a situation to get good reactions.
14. Why didn’t the chemist enjoy doing chromatography? He got separation anxiety.
15. How can you spot a chemist in the bathroom? They wash their hands before they use the toilet.
1. What ionic compound goes great with cheese? Sodium acetate
2. Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak? Because it’s in the ground state!
3. The chemist who specializes in making soda. Is called a fizzy-cist.
4. What is the chemical formula for banana? BaNa2
5. When life gives you C6H8O7 make H2O+C12H22O11+C6H8O7.
1. With the chemistry exam coming, my proffesor told me that I needed to molecule my head.
2. The chemistry professor couldn’t see what was inside the beaker as it was Mt (Meitnerium).
3. The entire class decided to bunk the chemistry class. But owning to low attendance, I couldn’t afford to mass it!
4. During the chemistry exam, my friend asked me whether I had some sodium hypobromite. I told him, “NaBro.”
5. The number of students in my chemistry class is tin.
6. After the fight ensued between the two students on who would win the platinum prize for the chemistry quiz, the quizmaster commented that this was petty. The chemistry teacher corrected him and said, “No, it is PT.”
7. The new student who joined our class said, “I was forced to choose chemistry as the other subjects Argon.”
8. The chemistry teacher explained to us that boyle’s law is the product of volume and pressure because volume won’t work under pressure.
9. The class was very roundy, and as a result, the chemistry teacher lost her mole-cule!
10. Chemistry teachers everywhere like to talk about Ammonia while introducing students to chemistry because it is base-ic stuff.
1. My bright chemist brother received his wedding photons quite late.
2. Are you full of Beryllium, Gold, and Titanium? Because you are beautiful.
3. When proton that opposite charges attract each other, he went to electron and told, “I am positively attracted to you.”
4. I heard that the first date with Potassium that Oxygen went to turned out fine. The second time, that Oxygen went on a date with Potassium was ok2.
5. When Magnesium saw Oxygen, he said, “I was sure there was some chemical reaction between you and me.”
“Omg I was right!”
6. Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.
7. Be my covalentine.
8. While having a conversation, the mass spectrometry conveyed his condolences to the gas chromatograph by saying that breaking up is hard.
9. Chlorine came to sodium and told her, “You complete me!”
10. This is a salt.
1. Are you full of beryllium, gold, and titanium? Because you are beauti-full.
2. Let’s get physics-cal.
3. Marie, you’re looking more radiant every day.
4. I wish I was adenine. Then I could get paired with U.
5. Girl, you’re like a salt; You raise my boiling point.
6. You must be a compound of berylium and barium because you’re a total BaBe.
7. Hey girl, are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re CuTe.
Because if you can’t helium or curium, you barium!