Welcome To Chemistry Jokes

Chemistry Jokes is an online educational resource that intends to spread awareness and expand curiosity of the wonderful world of chemistry through humor.

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Latest Chemistry Jokes

I Heard Oxygen And Magnesium Were Going Out

I Heard Oxygen And Magnesium Were Going Out

Posted On Jun 8th 2017

And I was like OMg

237 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Porcupane Porcupene Porcupyne

Porcupane Porcupene Porcupyne

Posted On May 2nd 2017

630 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak

Why Does Hamburger Yield Lower Energy Than Steak?

Posted On Apr 23rd 2017

Because it’s in the ground state.

2,527 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (20 votes, average: 4.25 out of 5)
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Chemistry Tshirts

on Amazon

Chemistry Tshirts for sale. All sizes including Mens, Womens, Childrens and Chemists.

does this make me look fat

Does This Make Me Look Fat?

Posted On Apr 4th 2017

Nah, you look sweet.

3,105 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (16 votes, average: 4.31 out of 5)
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what do you do with a dead chemist

What Do You Do With A Dead Chemist?

Posted On Mar 27th 2017

A. Barium

3,457 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (20 votes, average: 4.45 out of 5)
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Did You Know Protons Have Mass?

Did You Know Protons Have Mass?

Posted On Mar 14th 2017

I didn’t even know they were catholic!

3,024 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (19 votes, average: 4.37 out of 5)
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Chemistry Socks

on Amazon

1 pair included per order. THC, or tetrahydrocannabinol, is the chemical responsible for most of marijuana's psychological effects.

Baby, I Know Chemistry

Baby, I Know Chemistry

Posted On Mar 8th 2017

and you’ve got one significant figure.

827 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (5 votes, average: 2.80 out of 5)
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periodic table

Periodic Table

Posted On Mar 2nd 2017

I bet that bench is really unstable.

9,588 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (21 votes, average: 4.81 out of 5)
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My Teacher Threw Sodium Chloride At Me

My Teacher Threw Sodium Chloride At Me

Posted On Feb 22nd 2017

That’s a salt!

3,565 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (25 votes, average: 4.20 out of 5)
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graduated cylinder

Graduated Cylinder

Posted On Feb 16th 2017

Figure 1. graduated cylinder Figure 2. dropout cylinder

3,182 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (16 votes, average: 3.81 out of 5)
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You Must Be Made Of Uranium And Iodine

You Must Be Made Of Uranium And Iodine

Posted On Feb 7th 2017

Because all I can see is U and I

1,656 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (14 votes, average: 4.21 out of 5)
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Chemist's Cocktail Kit

on Amazon

Stir up some excitement about chemistry at your next party. Because test tubes shouldn't be relegated to the classroom. Erlenmeyer flask of alcohol > generic flask of alcohol.

oh no i spilled water all over my laptop

Oh No I Spilled Water All Over My Laptop

Posted On Jan 31st 2017

2,707 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (24 votes, average: 4.17 out of 5)
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drop the base

Drop The Base

Posted On Jan 25th 2017

4,958 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (24 votes, average: 4.42 out of 5)
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do you have any sodium hypobromite

Do You Have Any Sodium Hypobromite?

Posted On Jan 19th 2017

A. NaBrO

2,956 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (24 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
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Pusheen The Cat Making Some Chemistry

Pusheen The Cat Making Some Chemistry

Posted On Jan 9th 2017

That cat is not wearing safety goggles, he hasn’t even bothered to clean up that spilled solvent, and he is holding that Erlenmeyer flask way too close to his face. Pusheen the Cat, more like Pusheen the limits of lab safety

3,160 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (24 votes, average: 4.17 out of 5)
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How Did The Chemist Survive The Famine?

How Did The Chemist Survive The Famine?

Posted On Jan 3rd 2017

A. By subsisting on titrations

1,155 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (15 votes, average: 4.07 out of 5)
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Science Full Length Apron With Pockets

on Amazon

Apron is made of a 65/35 poly/cotton blend. Whether it is put to use in a restaurant or at home, this apron will always help to keep you clean. Full lenght features adjustable neck strap. Medium length features non-adjustable neck strap that fits over your head. Both sizes also tie around the waist.

What Happens To Nitrogen When The Sun Rises

What Happens To Nitrogen When The Sun Rises

Posted On Dec 27th 2016

It becomes daytrogen I’m going to bed. Good nitrogen Sleep tightrogen Don’t let the bed bugs bitrogen

2,787 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (18 votes, average: 4.39 out of 5)
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The Official Chemis-Tree

The Official Chemis-Tree

Posted On Dec 21st 2016

Getting festive with the periodic table of elements.

3,324 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (15 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Why Can't Lawyers Do NMR?

Why Can’t Lawyers Do NMR?

Posted On Dec 14th 2016

A. Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.

908 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (19 votes, average: 2.95 out of 5)
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What Kind Of Dogs Do Chemists Have?

What Kind Of Dogs Do Chemists Have?

Posted On Dec 6th 2016

A. Laboratory Retrievers

1,699 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (20 votes, average: 4.30 out of 5)
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Amphetamine

Amphetamine

Posted On Nov 29th 2016

A FETA MEME

1,528 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (24 votes, average: 3.88 out of 5)
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Radioactive Elements Glowing Coaster Set

on Amazon

Featuring the atomic number and isotopic mass of the most stable or common isotope for their respective radioactive elements, these pressure-sensitive coasters light up when you place your drink on them.

what did the bartender say when oxygen hydrogen sulfer sodium and phosphorous walked into his bar

What Did The Bartender Say When Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium And Phosphorous Walked Into His Bar?

Posted On Nov 21st 2016

A. OH SNaP!

1,844 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (36 votes, average: 4.44 out of 5)
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I Would Never Try To Poison You

I Would Never Try To Poison You

Posted On Nov 15th 2016

Now eat your Pb and jelly sandwich.

2,013 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (48 votes, average: 4.23 out of 5)
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The Water Molecule

The Water Molecule

Posted On Nov 8th 2016

My Precious!! Oxygen attracts electrons more strongly than hydrogen

2,359 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (26 votes, average: 3.42 out of 5)
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What Kind Of Fish Is Made Out Of 2 Sodium Atoms?

What Kind Of Fish Is Made Out Of 2 Sodium Atoms?

Posted On Nov 2nd 2016

A. 2 NA

3,362 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (41 votes, average: 4.10 out of 5)
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you gotta help me

You Gotta Help Me!

Posted On Oct 27th 2016

2,693 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (39 votes, average: 4.56 out of 5)
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Periodic BeEr 16oz Pint Beer Glass

on Amazon

Now you can drink your BeEr in its very own BeEr pint glass. Just remember, drink responsibly. We kinda like having you chuckleheads around. Each glass holds 16 oz of your favorite brew, ready to deliver delicious flavor and wonderful, relaxing ethanol.

what did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium

What Did The Scientist Say When He Found 2 Isotopes Of Helium?

Posted On Oct 20th 2016

HeHe

1,948 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (28 votes, average: 4.36 out of 5)
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a piece of ice fell in love with a bunsen burner

A Piece Of Ice Fell In Love With A Bunsen Burner

Posted On Oct 18th 2016

“Bunsen! My flame! I melt whenever I see you!” Said the ice. The bunsen burner replied: “It’s just a phase you’re going through.”

2,345 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (25 votes, average: 4.44 out of 5)
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what emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from

What Emotional Disorder Does A Gas Chromatograph Suffer From?

Posted On Oct 14th 2016

A. Seperation Anxiety

1,211 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (24 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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What Is A Chemist's Favorite Plant?

What Is A Chemist’s Favorite Plant?

Posted On Oct 11th 2016

Stoichiome-tree

1,547 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (26 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
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What Is The Chemical Formula For Seawater?

What Is The Chemical Formula For Seawater?

Posted On Oct 7th 2016

A. CH2O

1,498 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (32 votes, average: 4.09 out of 5)
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Thames & Kosmos CHEM C1000

on Amazon

Set up your lab space and learn how to safely handle the lab equipment and chemicals. Professional quality equipment helps you make the most of your chemistry experiments.

When Life Gives You C6H8O7

When Life Gives You C6H8O7

Posted On Oct 5th 2016

Make H2O + C12 H22 O11 + C6 H8 O7

1,920 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (20 votes, average: 3.65 out of 5)
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Florence Flask Was Preparing To Attend The Opera

Florence Flask Was Preparing To Attend The Opera

Posted On Oct 4th 2016

Florence Flask was preparing to attend the opera. Suddenly she screamed, “Erlenmeyer, my joules! Somebody has stolen my joules!” Her husband replied, “Relax dear. We’ll find a solution.”

1,172 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (14 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5)
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if a king farts

If A King Farts

Posted On Oct 3rd 2016

Is it a noble gas?

1,591 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (31 votes, average: 4.61 out of 5)
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I Used To Be Obsessed With Chromatography

I Used To Be Obsessed With Chromatography

Posted On Sep 30th 2016

Now I realize it was just a phase.

1,452 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (24 votes, average: 4.54 out of 5)
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what is the show cesium and iodine love watching together

What Is The Show Cesium And Iodine Love Watching Together?

Posted On Sep 27th 2016

1,363 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (23 votes, average: 3.96 out of 5)
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Thames & Kosmos CHEM C3000

on Amazon

CHEM C3000 is the ultimate chemistry set. This kit includes all of the components from CHEM C2000, plus dozens of additional tools and chemicals. CHEM C3000 is an excellent preparation for high-school level chemistry.

Study Organic Chemistry They Said

Study Organic Chemistry They Said

Posted On Sep 22nd 2016

It’ll be fun they said

1,974 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (21 votes, average: 3.76 out of 5)
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Hey Ladies

Hey Ladies

Posted On Sep 21st 2016

Take my number.

2,115 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (19 votes, average: 4.16 out of 5)
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What Is The Most Important Rule In Chemistry?

What Is The Most Important Rule In Chemistry?

Posted On Sep 19th 2016

A. Never lick the spoon!

1,530 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (23 votes, average: 4.04 out of 5)
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What Is The Chemical Formula For Coffee?

What Is The Chemical Formula For Coffee?

Posted On Sep 15th 2016

A. CoFe2

1,735 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (13 votes, average: 4.08 out of 5)
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I Blew Up My Chemistry Experiment

I Blew Up My Chemistry Experiment

Posted On Sep 13th 2016

Oxidants happen

1,493 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (24 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
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Periodic Table Pen

on Amazon

Periodic table pen for ease of looking up elements. Double sided with periodic table on front and miniature reference chart on back.

What Do You Call A Wheel Made Of Iron?

What Do You Call A Wheel Made Of Iron?

Posted On Sep 9th 2016

A. A ferrous wheel

1,565 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (25 votes, average: 4.20 out of 5)
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The Atomic Symbol For Confusion

The Atomic Symbol For Confusion

Posted On Sep 7th 2016

2,350 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (22 votes, average: 4.18 out of 5)
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What Am I Doing With Element 83?

What Am I Doing With Element 83?

Posted On Sep 6th 2016

A. None of your Bismuth.

1,426 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (23 votes, average: 4.39 out of 5)
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Do These Protons Make My Mass Look Big?

Do These Protons Make My Mass Look Big?

Posted On Sep 1st 2016

1,570 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (15 votes, average: 4.47 out of 5)
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Last Night, A Hypnotist Convinced Me I Was A Soft, Malleable Metal With An Atomic Number Of 82

Last Night, A Hypnotist Convinced Me I Was A Soft, Malleable Metal With An Atomic Number Of 82

Posted On Aug 30th 2016

I’m easily lead

1,661 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (20 votes, average: 4.60 out of 5)
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What Is The Chemical Formula For Banana?

What Is The Chemical Formula For Banana?

Posted On Aug 26th 2016

A. BaNa2

2,852 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (24 votes, average: 4.13 out of 5)
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Do These Protons Make My Mass Look Big?

What Did The Cow Say To Molybdenum and Oxygen?

Posted On Aug 23rd 2016

A. MoO

1,380 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (20 votes, average: 4.35 out of 5)
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Yo Mamma So Ugly

Yo’ Mamma So Ugly

Posted On Aug 22nd 2016

Not even Fluorine would bond with her

1,770 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (25 votes, average: 4.52 out of 5)
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If I Am Lost In Translation

If I Am Lost In Translation

Posted On Aug 18th 2016

just blame my RNA

1,649 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (10 votes, average: 4.10 out of 5)
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The Lab Smells Like Rotten Eggs You Say?

The Lab Smells Like Rotten Eggs You Say?

Posted On Aug 16th 2016

Sorry to hear about your sulfuring

1,569 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (18 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
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What Do You Get When You Cut An Avocado Into 6X10^23 Pieces?

What Do You Get When You Cut An Avocado Into 6X10^23 Pieces?

Posted On Aug 10th 2016

A. Guacamole

1,811 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (26 votes, average: 4.46 out of 5)
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The Reality Of Organic Chemistry

The Reality Of Organic Chemistry

Posted On Aug 8th 2016

In class: Homework: On Exam:

2,683 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (17 votes, average: 4.41 out of 5)
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What Did The Angry Electron Say When It Was Repelled?

What Did The Angry Electron Say When It Was Repelled?

Posted On Aug 3rd 2016

Let me atom!

1,581 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (24 votes, average: 3.58 out of 5)
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I Think I Left The Bromine And Boron In The Cabinet

I Think I Left The Bromine And Boron In The Cabinet

Posted On Aug 2nd 2016

BrB

1,360 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (21 votes, average: 4.19 out of 5)
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Things I Learned In Organic Chemistry

Things I Learned In Organic Chemistry

Posted On Jul 29th 2016

Interesting reactions Nomenclature Deadly compounds How to draw hexagons

2,513 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (15 votes, average: 4.60 out of 5)
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What Did The Thermometer Say To The Graduated Cylinder?

What Did The Thermometer Say To The Graduated Cylinder?

Posted On Jul 26th 2016

A. At least I have a degree

1,664 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (22 votes, average: 4.36 out of 5)
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Helium Walks Into A Bar

Helium Walks Into A Bar

Posted On Jul 25th 2016

Bartender says, “We don’t serve noble gases here.” He does not react.

2,187 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (21 votes, average: 4.48 out of 5)
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2 Hydrogen Buffalo Plus 1 Oxygen Buffalo

2 Hydrogen Buffalo Plus 1 Oxygen Buffalo

Posted On Jul 21st 2016

equals 1 water buffalo.

1,979 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (13 votes, average: 4.38 out of 5)
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Sugar Cubed

Sugar Cubed

Posted On Jul 19th 2016

C12 H22 O11 (C12 H22 O11)3

1,632 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (9 votes, average: 4.44 out of 5)
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what do you call a clown who is in jail

What Do You Call A Clown Who Is In Jail?

Posted On Jul 14th 2016

A silicon

2,045 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (12 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)
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a proton and a neutron are walking down the street

A Proton And A Neutron Are Walking Down The Street

Posted On Jul 13th 2016

A proton and a neutron are walking down the street. The proton says, “Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it.” The neutron says “Are you sure?” The proton replies “I’m positive.”

1,878 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (13 votes, average: 4.69 out of 5)
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what do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms

What Do Chemists Call A Benzene Ring With Iron Atoms Replacing The Carbon Atoms?

Posted On Jul 11th 2016

A. A ferrous wheel

1,929 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (14 votes, average: 4.14 out of 5)
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what element is a girls future best friend

What Element Is A Girl’s Future Best Friend?

Posted On Jul 7th 2016

Carbon

1,663 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (27 votes, average: 3.81 out of 5)
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the periodic table of comedy

The Periodic Table Of Comedy

Posted On Jul 6th 2016

2,483 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (16 votes, average: 3.81 out of 5)
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my wife is like nitrogen and silver

My Wife Is Like Nitrogen And Silver

Posted On Jul 5th 2016

NAg NAg NAg

1,665 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (21 votes, average: 4.62 out of 5)
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Wanna Hear A Joke About Element 116?

Wanna Hear A Joke About Element 116?

Posted On Jul 1st 2016

UUH..

1,521 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (20 votes, average: 4.20 out of 5)
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what did one ion say to the other

What Did One Ion Say To The Other?

Posted On Jun 30th 2016

I’ve got my ion you

1,738 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (20 votes, average: 4.15 out of 5)
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how they really made the periodic table

How They REALLY Made The Periodic Table

Posted On Jun 28th 2016

2,781 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (23 votes, average: 4.52 out of 5)
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How About The Chemical Workers?

How About The Chemical Workers?

Posted On Jun 23rd 2016

Are they unionized?

1,226 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (15 votes, average: 4.40 out of 5)
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Carbon Dating

Carbon Dating

Posted On Jun 22nd 2016

2,799 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (14 votes, average: 3.29 out of 5)
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What Do You Call An Acid With An Attitude?

What Do You Call An Acid With An Attitude?

Posted On Jun 21st 2016

A. A-mean-oh-acid.

6,476 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (32 votes, average: 4.31 out of 5)
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Oxygen Wanted To Be Knighted

Oxygen Wanted To Be Knighted

Posted On Jun 20th 2016

But he wasn’t noble

1,588 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (16 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
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Look, Mom! Carbon Tetrafluride!

Look, Mom! Carbon Tetrafluoride!

Posted On Jun 16th 2016

2,107 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (18 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
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what do you call iron blowing in the wind

What Do You Call Iron Blowing In The Wind?

Posted On Jun 13th 2016

Febreeze

1,771 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (18 votes, average: 4.56 out of 5)
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Casual-dehyde

Casual-dehyde

Posted On Jun 10th 2016

2,153 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (14 votes, average: 4.36 out of 5)
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A Covalent Bond Yells At An Ionic Bond

A Covalent Bond Yells At An Ionic Bond

Posted On Jun 8th 2016

Didn’t anybody ever teach you to share?

2,023 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (18 votes, average: 4.39 out of 5)
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oh my gosh i've lost a neutron

Oh My Gosh, I’ve Lost A Neutron

Posted On Jun 7th 2016

1,869 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (14 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
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what did the mass spectrometer say to the gas chromatograph

What Did The Mass Spectrometer Say To The Gas Chromatograph?

Posted On Jun 3rd 2016

Breaking up is hard to do.

1,836 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (13 votes, average: 4.15 out of 5)
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What Did The Element Say To The Police?

What Did The Element Say To The Police?

Posted On Jun 1st 2016

A. I CU copper

1,876 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (13 votes, average: 4.77 out of 5)
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do you have 11 protons

Do You Have 11 Protons?

Posted On May 31st 2016

Cause your sodium fine

2,568 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (19 votes, average: 3.74 out of 5)
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you made lithium react with argon

You Made Lithium React With Argon?

Posted On May 26th 2016

LiAr!

1,741 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (15 votes, average: 4.73 out of 5)
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heavy metals

Heavy Metals

Posted On May 24th 2016

1,961 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (9 votes, average: 4.89 out of 5)
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Ever Hear Of Nobelium?

Ever Hear Of Nobelium?

Posted On May 19th 2016

2,563 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (11 votes, average: 3.91 out of 5)
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Mercedes Benzene

Mercedes Benzene

Posted On May 17th 2016

2,141 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (13 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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Love Is In The Air?

Love Is In The Air?

Posted On May 12th 2016

Wrong. Nitrogon, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

2,871 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (17 votes, average: 3.88 out of 5)
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noble gases

Noble Gases

Posted On May 9th 2016

1,710 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (12 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)
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remember to enjoy the little things in life

Remember To Enjoy The Little Things In Life

Posted On May 2nd 2016

like protons

1,793 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (9 votes, average: 4.56 out of 5)
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h2o is water and h2o2 is hydrogen peroxide what is h2o4

H2O Is Water And H2O2 Is Hydrogen Peroxide. What Is H2O4?

Posted On Apr 28th 2016

Drinking

4,186 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (17 votes, average: 3.94 out of 5)
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If The Formula For Water Is H2O

If The Formula For Water Is H2O

Posted On Apr 26th 2016

Is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared?

2,429 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (17 votes, average: 3.76 out of 5)
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Yeah, High School Was Pretty Tough

Yeah, High School Was Pretty Tough

Posted On Apr 22nd 2016

When you’re called a neutron dates are hard to find and the nicknames were just cruel. Sub-Atomic Conversation

1,813 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (10 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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Why Do Chemists Enjoy Working With Ammonia?

Why Do Chemists Enjoy Working With Ammonia?

Posted On Apr 18th 2016

A. Because it’s pretty basic stuff.

1,642 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (15 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)
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What Is The Name Of 007's Eskimo Cousin?

What Is The Name Of 007’s Eskimo Cousin?

Posted On Apr 13th 2016

A. Polar Bond

1,706 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (16 votes, average: 4.44 out of 5)
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Johnny Was A Chemist's Son

Johnny Was A Chemist’s Son

Posted On Apr 8th 2016

but Johnny is no more. What Johnny thought was H2O was H2SO4

2,618 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (15 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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Dude, You Should Definitely Come To This Pool Party

Dude, You Should Definitely Come To This Pool Party

Posted On Apr 1st 2016

There are 2 Hydrogens for every Oxygen out there!

1,571 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (13 votes, average: 4.54 out of 5)
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Bad Romance

Bad Romance

Posted On Mar 30th 2016

Bad Romance by Lady Gaga

1,916 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (19 votes, average: 4.58 out of 5)
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Silver Walks Up To Gold In A Bar And Says

Silver Walks Up To Gold In A Bar And Says

Posted On Mar 25th 2016

“Au, Get outta here!”

2,339 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (18 votes, average: 4.39 out of 5)
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What Happened To The Man Who Was Stopped For Having Sodium Chloride And A Nine-Volt In His Car?

What Happened To The Man Who Was Stopped For Having Sodium Chloride And A Nine-Volt In His Car?

Posted On Mar 23rd 2016

A. He was booked for a salt and a battery.

2,122 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (13 votes, average: 4.23 out of 5)
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au-fish

Au-Fish

Posted On Mar 21st 2016

2,121 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (10 votes, average: 3.80 out of 5)
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i'm sorry we just can't be together

I’m Sorry…We Just Can’t Be Together

Posted On Mar 17th 2016

Is it because I’m fat!?!

2,450 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (13 votes, average: 4.69 out of 5)
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no thanks i'm already full

No Thanks! I’m Already Full!

Posted On Mar 15th 2016

2,549 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (9 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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this is a salt

This Is A Salt

Posted On Mar 14th 2016

2,285 views

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A Neutron Walks Into A Bar

A Neutron Walks Into A Bar

Posted On Mar 11th 2016

and asks how much a drink. The bartender replies “For you, no charge”. – Dr. Sheldon Cooper The Big Bang Theory

2,616 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (13 votes, average: 4.08 out of 5)
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Stupid Electrons

Stupid Electrons

Posted On Mar 10th 2016

I’m sick of your negativity

1,916 views

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what do you get when you mix sulfur tungsten and silver

What Do You Get When You Mix Sulfur, Tungsten, And Silver?

Posted On Mar 7th 2016

SWAG

2,455 views

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ive lost an electron

I’ve Lost An Electron!

Posted On Mar 4th 2016

are you positive?

1,984 views

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if you're not part of the solution

If You’re Not Part Of The Solution

Posted On Mar 1st 2016

you’re part of the precipitate

2,506 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (13 votes, average: 4.31 out of 5)
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a sign outside the chemistry hotel reads

A Sign Outside The Chemistry Hotel Reads

Posted On Feb 29th 2016

Great day rates, even better NO3-‘s

1,843 views

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seriously dude i think youre overreacting

Seriously Dude I Think You’re Overreacting

Posted On Feb 25th 2016

2,113 views

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the universe is made up of

The Universe Is Made Up Of

Posted On Feb 24th 2016

protons, neutrons, electrons and morons

2,288 views

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think like a proton

Think Like A Proton

Posted On Feb 22nd 2016

and stay positive

4,874 views

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can i take your drink order

Can I Take Your Drink Order?

Posted On Feb 19th 2016

2,127 views

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What Do You Do With A Sick Chemist?

What Do You Do With A Sick Chemist?

Posted On Feb 18th 2016

A. If you can’t helium and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.

3,151 views

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oxygen went out on a date with potassium

Oxygen Went Out On A Date With Potassium

Posted On Feb 17th 2016

I thought oxygen was dating magnesium…omg actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogon was all like “NO” I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins looks like someone’s a HO NaBrO I’m done with all of you

4,760 views

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anyone know any jokes about sodium

Anyone Know Any Jokes About Sodium?

Posted On Feb 16th 2016

Na

5,365 views

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if iron man and silver surfer teamed up

If Iron Man And Silver Surfer Teamed Up

Posted On Feb 15th 2016

Would they be alloys?

2,284 views

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be my covalentine

Be My Covalentine

Posted On Feb 12th 2016

3,185 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (12 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)
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did you hear about the chemist reading a book about helium

Did You Hear About The Chemist Reading A Book About Helium?

Posted On Feb 11th 2016

He just couldn’t put it down.

2,734 views

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you complete me

You Complete Me

Posted On Feb 9th 2016

3,153 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (11 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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is silicon the same in spanish

Is Silicon The Same In Spanish?

Posted On Feb 8th 2016

Si

2,069 views

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how a chemist sees the glass

How A Chemist Sees The Glass

Posted On Feb 5th 2016

Optimist The glass is half full Pessimist The glass is half empty Chemist The glass contains 50% H20(l) 39% N2(g) 10.5% O2(g) .44% Ar(g) .06% CO2(g)

2,597 views

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chemistry jokes are sodium funny

Chemistry Jokes Are Sodium Funny

Posted On Feb 4th 2016

I slapped my neon that one!

5,344 views

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the names bond hydrogen bond

The Name’s Bond, Hydrogen Bond

Posted On Feb 2nd 2016

3,688 views

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i was going to tell a sodium and hydrogen joke

I Was Going To Tell A Sodium And Hydrogen Joke

Posted On Feb 1st 2016

But NaH

1,902 views

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thorium

What Element Is Derived From A Norse God?

Posted On Jan 29th 2016

Thorium

2,311 views

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hey baby

Hey Baby

Posted On Jan 27th 2016

I got my ion you

1,832 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (18 votes, average: 4.28 out of 5)
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na na na na na batman

Na Na Na Na Na Batman

Posted On Jan 26th 2016

3,717 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (21 votes, average: 4.29 out of 5)
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How Often Do I Tell Chemistry Jokes?

How Often Do I Tell Chemistry Jokes?

Posted On Jan 25th 2016

A. Periodically

2,251 views

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i thought you said the chemical composition for water was h to o

I Thought You Said The Chemical Composition For Water Was H To O

Posted On Jan 22nd 2016

2,400 views

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old chemists never die

Old Chemists Never Die

Posted On Jan 21st 2016

They just stop reacting

1,960 views

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never trust an atom

Never Trust An Atom

Posted On Jan 19th 2016

They make up everything

2,604 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (16 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
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you want to hear a joke about nitric oxide

You Want To Hear A Joke About Nitric Oxide?

Posted On Jan 15th 2016

A. NO

7,641 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (16 votes, average: 4.19 out of 5)
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I Think All The Good Chemistry Jokes

I Think All The Good Chemistry Jokes

Posted On Jan 14th 2016

Argon

2,227 views

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cation

Cation

Posted On Jan 13th 2016

Cation Pronunciation: [kat-ahy-uh n, -on] -noun, Chemistry 1. An ion with a paws-itive charge. 2. The cutest ion ever.

5,737 views

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propane looks like a puppy

Propane Looks Like A Puppy

Posted On Jan 11th 2016

2,015 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (13 votes, average: 4.54 out of 5)
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neon cat does not bond well with others

Neon Cat Does Not Bond Well With Others

Posted On Jan 8th 2016

2,061 views

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Tell Me A Potassium Joke

Tell Me A Potassium Joke

Posted On Jan 6th 2016

K

2,870 views

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the element of surprise

The Element Of Surprise

Posted On Jan 5th 2016

Right there! Do you see it?! Oh my Gawwd! I can’t believe it!

2,975 views

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (12 votes, average: 4.17 out of 5)
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analytical chemists in the wild west

Analytical Chemists In The Wild West

Posted On Dec 28th 2015

Don’t move, or I’ll fill you full of 98% lead, 1% antimony, 0.75% silver, 200 parts per million nickel, trace amounts of cobalt, and other components below their respective detection limits! Wait a minute! Are those values certified?!

2,157 views

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What Do You Call A Tooth In A Glass Of Water?

What Do You Call A Tooth In A Glass Of Water?

Posted On Dec 22nd 2015

A. A one molar solution

5,203 views

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Hey Girl, Are You Made Of Copper And Tellurium?

Hey Girl, Are You Made Of Copper And Tellurium?

Posted On Dec 14th 2015

A. Because you are CuTe

4,122 views

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For Teachers

By incorporating jokes into their chemistry lessons, teachers can stimulate student interest and make chemistry more appealing. Not only may students find these jokes funny, but humor can spark their interest in pursuing chemistry as a career. For a variety of learners, certain formulas become easier to understand. The periodic table is no longer a mystery. Relating humor to students can help them grasp lessons more easily. It also helps students have a better understanding of course material, maximizing student engagement and academic progress, while increasing retention of materials.

This website can also be beneficial when trying to remember chemistry concepts and terms.

For Students

Anyone who takes an interest in chemistry, from junior high to collegiate level, can unwind with our chemistry jokes. Some of the jokes’ graphics may help relay visual information that is essential to the learning process. Making connections between difficult chemistry concepts and humor can aid in memorization and comprehension. Humor boosts the brain’s dopamine production, which enhances retention—both long-term memory storage and goal-oriented motivation.

For Chemistry Professionals

Take a break from the lab and enjoy our chemistry humor. Working on chemistry can be tough. We can help you relax a little.

For You!

Whether an individual is learning chemistry for the first time, working toward a college degree, or taking a personal interest in this branch of science, ChemistryJokes.com is an enjoyable way to teach and learn chemistry.