Chemistry Jokes

1. What kind of dogs do chemists have? Laboratory retrievers. 2. During the chemistry exam, my friend asked me whether I had some sodium hypobromite. I told him, “NaBro.” 3. Chemists have a provocative nature. They hate neutral people and catalyze a situation to get good reactions. 4. Which compound smells the worst? Iron chloride…

1. Noble gases are the most carefree gases. They just don’t care to react to what others do! 2. Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it’s pretty basic stuff. 3. Oxygen wanted to be knighted but he wasn’t noble. 4. Tell me a potassium joke. K 5. What do you get when you…

1. Why did the father alcohol name his two sons, ethanol and methanol? So that they both can always remain as chemical brothers! 2. Once, an organometallic compound went to a bar, and after a few drinks he got epoxicated. 3. Believe it or not, alcohols are homogeneous solutions, but it would be better if…

1. Florence Flask was getting ready for the opera. All of a sudden, she screamed: “Erlenmeyer, my joules! Somebody has stolen my joules!” The husband replied, “Calm down, honey. We’ll find a solution.” 2. The little atom was a naughty boy who kept shouting at his little brother. So the father atom scolded him by…

1. Why do chemists call Helium, Barium and Curium the medical elements? Because if you can’t Helium or Curium, you Barium! 2. What does a chemist call the condition of having dry eyes? Ophthalmic anhydride. 3. How often does a chemist need coffee? They need caffeine periodically. 4. Why do chemists like nitrates so much?…

1. What ionic compound goes great with cheese? Sodium acetate 2. Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak? Because it’s in the ground state! 3. The chemist who specializes in making soda. Is called a fizzy-cist. 4. What is the chemical formula for banana? BaNa2 5. When life gives you C6H8O7 make H2O+C12H22O11+C6H8O7.

1. With the chemistry exam coming, my proffesor told me that I needed to molecule my head. 2. The chemistry professor couldn’t see what was inside the beaker as it was Mt (Meitnerium). 3. The entire class decided to bunk the chemistry class. But owning to low attendance, I couldn’t afford to mass it! 4….

1. My bright chemist brother received his wedding photons quite late. 2. Are you full of Beryllium, Gold, and Titanium? Because you are beautiful. 3. When proton that opposite charges attract each other, he went to electron and told, “I am positively attracted to you.” 4. I heard that the first date with Potassium that…

1. Are you full of beryllium, gold, and titanium? Because you are beauti-full. 2. Let’s get physics-cal. 3. Marie, you’re looking more radiant every day. 4. I wish I was adenine. Then I could get paired with U. 5. Girl, you’re like a salt; You raise my boiling point. 6. You must be a compound…

Carbon

Because if you can’t helium or curium, you barium!